You had only been standing on the
balcony for about 5 minutes now, smiling about nothing in particular and gazing
out at vast expanse of city lights, stretching endlessly at your feet.
‘What a
beautiful night…’ you thought, giggling despite
yourself, your mind making the instant Kpop connection.
You turn around,
leaning back against the railing, feeling slightly giddy. Half a
bottle of vodka warms your body, blurring the lines of reality.
Stumbling out of the stuffy crowded
hotel room just moments before, you hadn’t even bothered to shut the door to
the terrace properly behind you. Inside, you could just make out the muffled
voices of those you were closest to, barely a distant hum under ‘난리나’ blasting from a set of iPod speakers. Your eyes
searched the crowd, looking for him, but instead they find
your best friend, lost amongst the mass of bodies beyond the glass. She was
sitting on the couch, next to her 오빠 , who whispers something into her ear. She laughs
and responds with something that make him smirk, head down, avoiding
her suggestive looks.
You sigh.
Kim had promised she had told
him about the party. She swore he seemed keen when she mentioned it to him.
Then where the fuck was he?
The party had only really started an
hour and a half ago, but the disappointment still sits in your
throat, along with your fading hope.
You sigh again, turning back around
to watch the traffic pass by on the street below.
It's nearly 1am.
‘There you are gorgeous…’
You turn, startled.
재범stands,
leaning against the frame of the sliding door, arms folded around his torso.
You can’t believe it. You had just about given up all hope and yet here he
is, standing there, eyes raking your form. He was dressed pretty casually in
his black chinos, white wife beater and black chucks. His thick chain
and heavy, shiny belt buckle glinting in the dim light, his black chink
hat sitting on an angle, topping it all off.
‘Oh hey,’ you say, composing
yourself, still feeling tipsy. You clear your throat, which is suddenly dry. ‘I
didn’t think you were gunna make it…’
‘Come on now, baby girl…’ he laughs,
moving towards you, hands in his pockets. ‘Me? Miss out on seeing
you? Hell nah! Not on yo birthday…’
His chink swagger was on
full tonight. You smile, taking note of it all.
‘Aw… so sweet of you- ’you say.
Before you know it, he's next to
you, really close.
You can smell his cologne, a
hint of alcohol, all of it a bit too intoxicating.
You close your eyes,
leaning your head back and sigh.
He moves behind you now, both hands
gripping the railing on either side of you.
You turn to face him instinctively,
both your faces barely inches apart.
‘Damn it baby…’ he breathes
into your hair, his lips brushing against the skin of your neck. ‘You look
so fucking fine tonight…’
Your feel everything around you spin
wildly, everything seeming to slow down around you. You aren’t quite sure
what's happening.
‘Whoa babe… steady….’ He says
suddenly, his strong, defined tattooed arms wrapping themselves around
your waist, holding you up firmly. You rest your head on his shoulder and kiss
his neck. He glances down at you and smiled.
He escorts you to a quiet
bedroom off to the side of the suite.
To be completely honest you aren’t
even aware of where you are until you hear the door click shut softly.
Your eyes snap open. He had
laid you down on the bed. You sit up,
your head still spinning, but reasonably clearer. You're
obviously coming off your buzz very quickly.
You groan, sitting up and
clutching the side of your head in attempts to stop the throbbing.
‘Better?’
You whip around suddenly to see him
leaning against the bureau, arms folded loosely around his torso in his usual
way.
‘Yeah… I …. Uuh….’ You begin,
feeling a little more uncomfortable as you come to terms with what's happening
around you.
He shifts a little, grinning
cheekily.
You had been dating the 박재범 steadily for the past 8 months now. Things had
started getting pretty serious recently, even though you had both agreed to
take it slowly and steadily. He was, after all, an idol; one of the most wanted
men in Korea and abroad.
At first, they were. Things between
the two of you had gone from shy and slightly awkward to comfortable and easy
after the first few months into the relationship.
Everything was good.
Life was good.
You couldn’t have asked for better.
Exactly 3 days ago, you had had your
first serious couple fight. It was over something that wasn’t even a big deal.
Or so you thought…
That day, you had woken up a little
late. You were stressed out already and really just wanted to get back into
bed, hide under the covers and never see the world again.
He was the only reason you
had even bothered to open your eyes that morning. It was one of the
only days in the week that you got to spend actual quality time with
your boyfriend.
Stumbling onto the bus (after
missing the first one, despite your best efforts) you threw yourself down into the
first available seat and sighed, just as your phone began to buzz.
‘I miss you
beautiful…’ It read.
‘Looks like
rain, but you always bring the sunshine! Can’t wait to see you
tonight. Early birthday dinner with your man hahahaha.
Thinking of you
Jagi.
재 xxx’
You smile to yourself, feeling the
butterflies in the pit of your stomach flitting about.
‘나두 보고싶어^^v
See you tonight
xo’ you text back hurriedly.
The day passed by fairly quickly,
considering you were anxious to complete you work quickly and efficiently since
you arrived that morning.
After closing up and cleaning up
hurriedly, you walked out with your college, talking nonsense as usual.
‘OK 동생!!! !’ your co-worker says, hugging you
tightly and twirling you around playfully.
As you struggle to free
yourself -and breathe- you catch sight of your boyfriend on the
sidewalk. He's leaning against a street sign-post, one foot up and resting on
it, arms folded.
He face is dark and unreadable under
his hat, which was pulled down low over his face.
‘Oh hey babe!’ you squeal
excitedly, skipping over to him instantly, trying to wrap your arms around
his neck.
He flinches, moving away.
The movement is sudden and
unexpected. He has never reacted to you like
this before. You feel a little hurt by it.
You blink, arms still outstretched,
confused about what's happening.
‘Hey….’ You say, cocking
your head to one side. ‘W-what’s wrong?’
He looks at the ground, shuffling
his feet.
‘Oppa…. Talk to me.’ you said
slowly, dropping your arms and moving towards him again.
He straightens abruptly, slightly
startling you.
‘I... uh...
I gotta go aye’ His words are sharp. ‘We
are gunna have to cancel tonight. Sorry.’ When you don't
respond, he shrugs.
‘잘가…’ He storms off, clearly pissed, leaving you wondering
what the hell you did wrong.
You just stand there and stare after
him, dumbfounded.
Your mind races at million miles an
hour, trying to figure out exactly what the fuck just happened.
What
the eff…. I have to text Kim…you
think automatically.
Something is
obviously seriously wrong.
어디야?
Help me! 어떻게….
TT you type frantically
and hit send.
20
minutes later, you were sitting outside Lorne Street Café with Kim and her
boyfriend, who always managed to take a million hours off work to sit with you
guys whenever you go there for coffee.
"김치…." You whined at her. "왜그래!!!! 어떡해…."
She
had been staring at her boyfriend the whole time you had emotionally relayed
your story to her and now, 10 minutes later, she still hadn’t responded. You
could bet anything that she hadn’t even heard a word you said.
"He’s
jealous… Obviously 언니!
Come on!" Kim replied off-handedly, leaning back in her chair, eyes still
fixated on her boyfriend.
"What…."
You blinked. "Jealous of what?!" you asked incredulously.
"DUH!
Ben…" She rolled her eyes.
"Ben….
IS GAY!!!!"
"I
KNOW THIS!" she yelled back, "But 오빠 doesn’t… How would you feel if you saw some random
bitch putting her hands all over 오빠,
huh?"
You
mull over this for a moment.
"Be
honest. Explain things to him. It will be fine" Kim’s boyfriend chips in
monotonously, standing up. "I gotta go back to work. I’ll see you later, 자기." He says bending to kiss Kim passionately. You shift
uncomfortably.
Neither
of you say anything as you both watch him strut away.
"OK…
I think he’s right…" you sighed finally.
"Yeah…"
Kim sighs too, still staring after him as he disappears inside. "He IS fine
huh?" She smiles.
You
leaned back in your seat, shaking your head at her silently.
GOD,
what a useful best friend you have indeed…
You didn’t see or hear from Jay the
next day. He wasn’t responding to your texts or calls. Kim had told you to give
him some space, and even though you agreed, you just weren’t that type of
person. You needed to talk to him. 재 was stubborn and he wouldn’t admit to things easily or
tell you what was wrong unless you absolutely dug it out of him. He didn’t get
mad or upset with you very often, as far as you could tell, but when he did… It
was obvious that he dealt with such things like a 5 year old.
In your attempts to see him, corner
him into not avoiding you so you could talk this shit
out, you had even skipped class to attend a lecture with Kim. A class you knew he
also attended.
You had both shuffled in at least 20
minutes late thanks to Kim and her boyfriend, who made out for at least 15
minutes while you stood nearby, anxious to get to a class you didn’t even take.
You sigh.
Being late did have its advantages,
though.
At least you could scan the crowded
room for him. You hold your breath as your eyes frantically search the mass of
faces for any sign of him - or his hat. You know every single one in his
endless collection.
You can’t see him anywhere.
Your heart sinks.
You hurriedly follow your best
friend and sink into the chair beside her, staring at the desk, feeling utterly
deflated.
"Hey, 오빠, um…. Where’s 재?"
You hear Kim whisper urgently.
You turn instantly at the sound of
his name to face her. You hadn’t even realize that you guys had taken up the
seats next to his best friend.
Josh Kim smiles at you, clearly
amused by your reaction. He’s obviously heard about what happened. You really
just want to get up, grab him by the scruff of his shirt and shake him until he
tells you exactly what you want to know. He was, after all, your boyfriend’s
best friend. They gossiped just as much as you and Kim did! But you know the
only way to fix this, and save to yourself from making a scene, is to find your
boyfriend and talk it out, one on one - privately.
"He… um…. Didn’t come to class
today…" Josh replies hesitantly, scratching his head softly.
"아이씨, 진자 바보야! I can see this! Give me a straight answer, 오빠" Kim snaps impatiently. Josh flinches as if expecting
to be hit.
"김치, 왜그래…"
he whines, "To be completely honest, I’m not entirely sure where he is
aye. He texted me pretty late last night and we went out drinking, but I had to
go home early. Last I saw, he was still at the bar."
"What the fuck?" Kim
hisses, loud enough so that a few people turned to look.
"With who?" she seethes,
gritting her teeth and cracking her knuckles.
You hold your breath, tears pricking
up in your eyes. You aren’t entirely sure how prepared you are for the answer…
"Oh you know…" Josh says,
grinning and leaning back, clearly amused, "a few hot- OW FUCK-
I was kidding man! It was just us at this quiet sake bar out south! Kim, bro!
You hit like a dude!"
They carried on arguing playfully,
but you weren’t listening anymore.
Dear God, what had this
misunderstanding turned into?
Was he really that
jealous of some gay guy you happened to be friends with?
Why the hell is he being so
stubborn?
You wish he would just pick up the
fucking phone, at least once, just to hear you out instead of drowning his
sorrows in a bar somewhere. Why did he have to resort to getting trashed?
Surely, he would realise how silly the whole thing was.
Ben was gay for
fuck sake!
What a great way to spend your
birthday week…
You didn’t go to school that Friday. You just didn’t have the energy or the heart to go.
After much deliberation, you texted
your boyfriend one last time that day.
You said you hoped to see him
tomorrow night at the party.
Your best friends had been the ones
that organised it for you. If it was up to you, it wouldn’t be happening at
all. You didn’t really feel like doing anything at all, really.
You had lain in bed the next day,
listening to sad Kpop songs but refusing to cry. You had made up your mind. It
wasn’t even that big of a deal. If only your stubborn boyfriend would stop
sulking like a fucking child!
You’re just making your 4th paper
star of the day to add to your collection, when you hear your phone go off. You
jump up to grab it, ripping the charger out of the wall as you do so.
It’s from Kim.
Your heart sinks just a little.
You sigh and open it.
‘Guess who I just saw…’ it reads.
You stare at the message, just
blinking.
‘Who?’
You weren’t really in the mood for
this, but you decide to humour her.
‘Your boyfriend…’
Your eyes widen at once.
You can’t believe it. The one fucking
day you decide not to go to Uni, of course HE does.
‘Fuck!’ You think to
yourself. ‘Fuckfuckfuck!’
After much teasing and eliciting
bribery from you, your dongseng had finally told you all that you needed to
know.
She saw him passing by a class she
was waiting for and she stopped him. She said that he seemed ok, but distant.
Definitely not his usual self.
After some small talk, she had
casually asked if she would see him at your party on Saturday night. She said
he stopped to contemplate this, and then looked like something dawned on him.
She said he smiled, assuring her he’d be there and then left.
That was all.
You doubted that he would come but
you had held the slightest hope he would turn up at some point during the
night. It was, after all, his girlfriend’s birthday.
And yet, here you are, in this dimly
lit hotel room, alone with him while the party – your party – rages on in the
lounge of the suite in your absence.
You blink at him.
You relay the events of the past few
days again in your head.
He just stares at you.
Suddenly, you feel very
self-conscious.
"재… I --" you begin shakily
He just stares at you, unblinking,
waiting for you to finish.
You sigh.
"Now is not the time to bring
this up…" you decide.
You stand, straightening your skirt
shakily.
"We should probably get back to
the party. They must be wondering where we are…" you say reluctantly.
Just then you hear everyone from the
other room cheering. Jay just smiles at you.
"Oh, I don’t think they miss us
that much. Can’t I spend a few minutes alone with my girl on her
birthday?"
He grabs you by the waist and leans
in.
‘No…’ you think, mind humming. ‘I can’t let this slide.’
"Baby," you say, in your
futile attempts to get out of his grip.
"How can you act like this
after everything that’s happened? You ignore me for like 3 days! And now, you
waltz in and expect to just kiss me and act like nothing happened? Do you have
any idea how miserable and WORRIED I’ve been?!"
"Come on baby, don’t be like
that…" he says, his voice low, as he tries to kiss you again.
"Ugh, you’re drunk… let’s talk
about this in the morning. I’m definitely way too sober for this shit."
you say, sounding almost disgusted, pulling his hands from around you and
moving towards the door.
"Fuck it. Baby! Hold up man—
Shit--!" he says, taking his hat off and rubbing his head. He slumps onto
the bed.
"Come here baby girl" he
says, patting the bed bedside him, willing you to sit down. He grins at you.
you roll your eyes, arms folded tightly over your torso, but you comply.
"OK" he begins, exhaling
deeply.
"Let’s get one thing straight.
You are MY girl aiight? And I hate seeing other guys touch you OK? So when that
nigger put his hands on you--"
You laugh heartily, cutting him off.
He blinks at you, confused.
"Baby….." you say slowly,
taking his hand in yours. "Ben is gay…"
He says nothing, just blinking at
you as your words sink in.
"Aaaaaaaaye?! Fuck no!" he
drawls, half laughing and suddenly amused.
You sit there, rolling your eyes as
he rants on and makes sad jokes about the whole thing as if it hadn’t fazed him
in the least to begin with.
He turns to you, his face suddenly
serious.
"Baby, you know I’m a very
jealous man right?" he says slowly, taking a piece of your hair and
twirling it between his fingers.
"You don’t say…" you say
sarcastically, rolling your eyes theatrically.
"Are you getting lippy with me,
Missy?" he asks huskily, smirking. His eyes travel from your eyes to your
lips.
You swallow, hard.
"N-no" you stammer,
suddenly feeling very hot.
"Better not be," he
breathes against your ear, "or imma have to teach you a lesson baby…"
His eyes glint lustfully in the dim light of the room.
You start feeling a little light
headed.
"These…" he says cupping
your face and brushing his finger over your lips. "These pretty lips… are
mine, and you will only ever use them the way I want you to…" he says
huskily, "알았어?"
He leans in to kiss you. It’s full
and passionate. His lips guide yours sensually. He nips at your bottom lip. You
moan into the kiss. He smirks at this and entangles his fingers in your hair,
pulling you into him harder. You reach up and grab him by the scruff of his
singlet, pulling him closer. His tongue flickers against your swollen lips and
you part them, granting him entry. He groans and playfully coaxes your tongue
with his.
Nothing else seems to be very
important right now.
Fuck the fight.
It wasn’t even really a fight. You
don’t even care anymore.
His tongue continues to hypnotically
coaxing you into this intoxicating frenzy. He quickens the pace of the kiss,
biting gently on your lower lip and his hands travel up you thigh, hiking up
the skirt of your dress in the process. He leaves a wet trail of kisses along
your jaw and down your neck.
"All of this…" he breathes
between kisses "Is mine. Got that?"
You close your eyes, savouring every
kiss he leaves on your damp skin. Your body is at full attention, his for the
taking. You feel his hands snake their way up you back.
You shiver.
He smiles, expertly unhooking your
bra through the fabric of your dress at the same time. You gasp as it becomes
slack around your body. He looks up at you smirking and removing the bra from
beneath your dress, before dipping his head down to suckle you through the thin
material. You moan his name, throwing your head back as his tongue and lips
expertly elicit guttural moans and soft whimpers from you. He’s clearly pleased
with himself for this. He straightens suddenly, standing over you at the edge
of the bed. You sit up instantly, hands desperately clutching for him. He grabs
your shirt and helps you slip it over your head gently, his rough hands
brushing against your waist as he does so.
He pulls his own shirt off quickly,
grabbing your thighs, sliding you to the edge of the bed, holding you by the
back of your knees. You instinctively wrap your legs around his waist as he
leans down to suckle softly on your neck.
‘What am I doing?’ You hear you mind say, dully. You stopped caring a
while ago.
"You sure you ready for this,
baby?" he whispers mockingly, his breathing laboured, hands still
clutching your thighs, pressing you against him, hard.
You look into his eyes and then kiss
him deeply, imitating what he did earlier with his tongue on yours. He takes
this as a sign to shift you onto a pillow. He kisses you as his fingers work
quickly to unzip your dress, leaving kisses on the skin he exposes in the process.
He pulls the dress off your form and discards the flimsy garment hastily,
positioning himself between your legs, which fall open for him all too easily.
He looks down at you, eyes dark and hungry. His eyes travel the length of your
body. He bites his bottom lip.
"Hmmm, we definitely don’t need
these…" he groans, kissing a trail across your inner thigh
as he slips his fingers underneath
you lacy pink underwear. "They’re very cute, but they’ll just get in the
way, won’t they baby?" He grins, slipping them off and onto the floor in
one swift movement.
You giggle, still feeling giddy.
He positions himself between your
legs, suckling on your neck as he does so.
"Baby, you trust me
right?" he breathes against your skin, hot and already beaded with sweat.
It’s a warm night.
"Of course…" You breathe,
your voice a lot more husky than you intended it to be.
"Then let me guide you, baby. 오빠’s going to make you feel really good, 자기야…" he groans against your ear.
He runs his hand up your thigh,
leaving love-bites along your collar bone.
You whimper, suddenly feeling
anxious for him. His hand slides up across your hip and then back down between
the two of you. He brushes his fingers against your core and you rear up,
inhaling sharply.
"Mmm," he muses,
"Already so wet for me baby? That’s my girl--"
His fingers flicker against your
clitoris with expert precision. You gasp with every stroke, bucking your hips,
but he holds you in place firmly, enjoying every moment of the sweet torture he
is inflicting on you.
"Take me. Now, 오빠--" You groan impatiently, pulling him to you roughly.
He grunts and you can hear him
fumbling with his belt. He manages to free himself and you
feel him pressing against your slick
opening, hard and ready. You moan and kiss his neck, licking at the soft skin
there.
"OK babe," he says
hurriedly, clearly out of breath. "I need you to do exactly what I tell
you to, OK?"
You nod, suddenly nervous.
He kisses your lips, gently
massaging them with his own. He presses his hand into the small
of your back, indicating that you
should arch it towards him. You comply at once.
"Take a deep breath baby…"
he whispers into the kiss.
As you exhale, he sudden slips into
you. You gasp and he stifles it with his lips. His tongue
and lips continue to dominate yours
even as he inches himself into you deeper and deeper, pulling your body up
against his, making more room for himself. You feel your muscles stretching to
accommodate him. At first you are a little uncomfortable and it stings a
little. But as Jay guides you, his mouth hypnotically moving against yours, you
feel yourself relax, body moulding itself to his so naturally.
You moan his name, whimpering as he
slips in and out of you, pace increasing, and he seems to lose it. He grunts
and thrusts into you a little harder.
"Fuck baby…" he groans.
"So. Fucking. Tight! Just the way I like it."
He falls into a steady rhythm,
pumping in and out of you harder and faster, his breath laboured, full
concentration on eliciting moans and whimpers of his name from your lips.
His grip on your hips intensifies as
he thrust into you deeper, his grunting primal.
"Fuck baby-- I want you to come
for me-- When I’m inside you, OK?" he groans between thrusts. "Moan
my name baby. I love it when you moan for me." You whimper, moaning his
name, throwing your head back against the pillow as you feel him thrust in and
out of you, your climax rising up from a place you didn’t know existed.
"Ah, fuck-- Baby…" he
pants, hitching your thigh up around his waist so he can get a little deeper,
"Come for오빠. Come for me now, baby. I can’t
fucking take it anymore!" he groans, pleadingly.
"오빠," You pant, breathily, "I’m gunna--"
Your orgasm hits you like a freight
train. You close your eyes tightly as you let your climax crash over you in
waves. You arch your body up to meet his as he thrusts into you slowly but
forcefully. He lifts you up so you are astride him as he sits on the bed,
entangled amongst the sweat soaked sheets. Your body is still shuddering,
orgasmic waves of pleasure still rippling through your body, as you feel him
release inside you mere seconds later.
"Holy fuck…" he pants,
planting kisses along your chest. "Damn baby…. You’re so fucking
beautiful!" he whispers, lowering you back onto the pillow and propping
himself up beside you.
You can’t seem to catch your breath,
or move, let alone respond. You never knew anything could feel that fantastic.
You both struggle to catch your breath, as he rolls over onto his side of the
bed, pulling you onto his chest.
You smile, running your finger up
and down his faint snail-trail.
"I love you, baby girl" he
whispers, kissing the top of your head gently. "I’m so glad you’re all
mine."
You smile, lifting your head to look
up at him.
"Happy birthday,
beautiful."
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